Behind the Sky

The angle of the dawn burns my brow.

Feet push on to circumstance and duty.

The skin clings around my eyes.

And yet I smile against the cold air, in and out.

Even if I don’t mean it at all.

Can’t be too far now, just a bit further.

A shaky heart shan’t stop me.

I’ve built far too much courage, wasted far too much not to stomach it.

Steady, steady, past the fire.

It’s okay if you get burned, wounds heal in time.

But it can’t make you forget, no, I’m sorry it can’t.

I’m afraid.

The memory of a bloody throat and raw, red eyes. A rusting armature draped in flesh, bending under the weight.

The people you love but can’t understand, can’t fix, can’t help, can’t love anymore.

The space where you stand but you’re not there anymore.

The horror vacui, eternity and night.

The eternal fire against the flesh.

Wars of old men, children crushed under a thousand tons of hate.

Souls withering in the heat and cast into the air.

An expanse of patient disdain, unmoved by our matter.

I stop at the threshold and regard it.

I look up, out there, behind the sky.

There is only so much I can do.

Please keep trying.

I am thankful for my fear.

I cross and move on.